For many months now I had planned to have a Christmas party for my neighbors.  I planned to invite every neighbor I know, including my teacher and her family and EB’s babysitter and her family.  Knowing that if everyone came it could add up to 50 or 60 people, I planned to clear out my dining room to have a second guest room in case more than thirty people actually came.  In preperation for the party, my language teacher helped me learn the Christmas story in Dari, lent me 18 serving dishes and 48 tea glasses, and hand wrote out the invitations that DB delivered with a plate of goodies to each of the homes.  I had been telling my neighbors about the party for weeks, telling them how excited I was to share with them our Christmas traditions, and they were excited about eating traditional Christmas treats!

As the day of the party approached, we learned that the same day was a national holiday, but everyone said it would only affect a portion of the population.  Wilma, Jody, my language teacher and I spent the entire day before the party cooking and making candy.  Two of the neighbor girls also came and helped cook and set thigns up.  One of my friends called and said she would be there, and the little girls told me their mother would be here too.

Late that evening, my language teacher called me to tell me her mother said she could not come.  What I didn’t know is that this national holiday was the anniversary of the Prophet Mohammed’s grandson’s death, and on this day everyone is required to be sad.  She told me that it would be a sin for her to come.  After this phone call, I realized that probably no one would come to the party.

You see, in this culture, you would never hurt someone’s feelings by telling them you could not attend a party - you would say all along you would be there and just not show up.  We were pleasantly surprised when 8 little girls came for the party.  We played games, told the christmas story, and ate yummy treats.  

Lesson Learned: Change the date of a party if it coincides with a national holiday - no matter what people say, the holiday is to be revered.

Lesson Learned: Only bake things you like yourself for a party in case no one comes and you are left to eat most of it.

Lesson Learned: Little girls will come to a party with their throat swollen shut and a fever if it means eating foreign goodies.

Lesson Learned: There is always another cultural lesson to be learned, no matter how much I think I know.